But as I was laying in bed trying to clear my mind from the chaos of the day and drift into a deep Vicodin sleep, it occurred to me that it ain't over yet. Nope there are two more hours left in this day and that is enough time to write today's Monday Reflection.
Yep and that's how I feel about everything in life, especially life. We spend a whole lot of time bitching about this and that, and some of it is rightly so. I mean we do have to process the stuff... the shit... the chaos...
Thank God that I have some people in my life that seem to make it so much better. Like this evening, Markeeda listened to one mess after another and in between each new topic she said just the right thing and even made me laugh. So go ahead... Bitch... But it's better when you have someone you can trust to be honest, sincere and loving with their ear and ummm without a lot of stupid ass conversation and questions... just a whole lot of compassion.
But when all is said and done, it's not the end all to end all. Somehow we survive it. Don't we? And weeks, months and years later that thing that created all that chaos, that had all our attention, seems to be a distance memory. Somehow we made it through what seemed hopeless in that moment.
That's even how I feel about living. I mean after celebrating my 49th birthday yesterday, I clearly know it ain't over yet. God has blessed me with more years then the medical community said I should have. And I remember back then, I spent a whole lot of time thinking about death, which today seems so unimportant to my life... to my living. I learned death don't need any attention... when it's time comes there will be nothing to think about... So why give it energy in the living?
It's even like that for that man you thought you couldn't live without. Remember? When the relationship was over everything made you think about him. And you couldn't see how you were going to get through another day, or even how the hell you gave him so many of your days... but then a day turns into a week, then a month, then a year or two and before you know it, he becomes a distant memory. So go ahead and process the right now, so you can live in tomorrow.
Post Script: Thanks to every Birthday Tweet, Facebook, Message and Gift! The outpouring of love was overwhelming. I tried my best to answer everybody... but umm, I'm so loved... Superwoman got tired...
I spent the day doing what I was supposed to, ministering. The rest of the day, I rested my tired sick body...
Keep me in your prayers. The doctor is trying desperately to keep me off IV medication, but it's not looking good. My Twitter, Facebook and Blog Family you are the bomb.com with a bag of chips and a mystic... I love you all!! Much Love!! #IcannotdoitAlone