Oprah and Me: A Retrospective!

I remember when I first started to speak, people kept asking me, "Girl when you gonna be on the Oprah Show?" It seemed like Oprah was the end all to end all. I mean people would say to me, "Girl, when you do the Oprah Show you've arrived." And for a moment, I had a lapse in judgement and started to buy into the madness.

By the time the Oprah Show called, I had already been on the cover of three magazines and had received the coveted Emmy Award and Nightline had done a Friday night special on me entitled "Rae's Story." So it wasn't as if God hadn't opened doors for me. That was evident. But because of the greatness and popularity of Oprah, my accomplishments in the eyes of others didn't seem to match up to being on the Oprah Show.

I remember that day the Oprah Show called as if it was yesterday. I spoke with a producer who asked if I would I do a show called "Scared Straight Out of Having Sex." The title threw me for a loop and I got real quite as she explained that they wanted me to allow some teenagers, who were having "unprotected sex," spend the day with me and I was supposed to scare them straight out of not having sex. Huh? That didn't feel right, it felt tabloid-like and I don't do tabloid. If this had been any other show, I would have turned them down five minutes into the conversation. But this was Oprah... The big time!

The producer sensed my hesitation, so in a series of conversations over the course of the day, she pitched and pitched and pitched. Finally I gave in. Maybe I could do some good, I started to believe. But it still didn't feel right. These girls were to spend the day with me and that was supposed to scare them straight.. Hummm.. But I looked great and had a breakneck schedule, not bedridden. And my life didn't meet any of the stereotypes of people living with AIDS at the time. So I was even doubtful that they could even achieve such a thing with me. But I agreed, because this was the Oprah Show.

But about 9 pm that evening, a junior producer from the show called and asked me to pull some pictures of myself when I was a teenager having unprotected sex. That was a big RED flag. And I called her on it and she couldn't spin it well. I went to sleep with a heavy heart and a prayer for the Lord to give me clarity. That morning I woke and called the senior producer and she spent about an hour stepping out of the pile of shit the junior producer had made.

I agreed again, but was way uneasy. So I had a neutral person, a friend of mine in the business call on my behalf. I said to Phil, "This is what I'm hearing, tell me what you are hearing." When he called back an hour later he said me, "Rae, this show is actually what you think it is, borderline tabloid." He went on to say, "I've heard you say over and over that the most important thing to you is ministry. Now you must decide, ministry or Oprah."

It was one of the hardest decisions that I ever made in my career, but an hour before Oprah's people were to meet me at the clinic to shoot footage, I cancelled. Lawd! Lawd! I had cancelled the Oprah Show, For Real, and they were some kinda hot with me. But I felt that this particular show didn't give me space to do ministry.

And I was told by people in the industry that I would probably not get asked again. Then a few months later they came calling yet again. And I told the producer to give me her best pitch in writing. I needed some distance because the producers are good at what they do, getting you to say yes.

And for the second time I had turned the Oprah Show down. I was sure that I wouldn't get asked again. But I felt as if I could live with that. Because for me, my ministry is more important then fame. And looking back today, Oprah confirmed everything I believe! She said on the show today, "It's not about fame, but about service." Those first shows that were presented to me gave me the opportunity for fame, but not for service.

I've got to be honest, I've had a bumpy road with Oprah Winfrey and her organizations. The magazine feature on me is a whole other topic for another day.

But I must also admit that I am so very honored today. Out of all the clips that The Oprah Show could have used in this final show they choose a clip of me from the show that I actually agreed to.

Yep, a year later they called again. And this producer, Lisa Minor, had a totally different approach. An African-American woman herself, she had been following my ministry and she understood what is was that I do. So I agreed to appear on this show, talking about long term survivors living with AIDS.

Oprah is a giant there is no doubt. And at the beginning of this year, people kept saying to me, "Boy wouldn't it be great for Oprah to have you on her show this last season." And it would have been nice I thought. I mean the show that I did was about long term survivors with AIDS, of which I was at the time. And now I've lived 14 years longer than that show.

That's not the kind of person that I am and I just couldn't. But the producer at Oprah never returned my calls or emails. But I was confident that I had done the right thing. How you treat people is important and I treat people how I want to be treated. There was no way I could tell this Sista Lolly Bowean that your interview with me is not as important as Oprah.

And you know what? God honored that because what was just a feature story became a cover story for the Chicago Tribune. And the Tribune being syndicated, that story was reprinted across the US and even in Canada and it boosted my Social Media by leaps and bounds and helped to make me a serious contender in the social media world.

But you see... It's truly not about you or about fame, but about ministry, service and how you enrich the lives of others. You never have to worry about being in magazines, or on TV. If you are faithful to God's purpose for life, God will make room for your gift and open every door you are supposed to go through. That was confirmed today, I made the season finale of The Oprah Show after all.

Today, I salute Oprah for following God's purpose for her life... May she continue to work in that purpose with clarity! Because that's exactly what I will do until the day I die!