I wonder what's going on in your own life. I wonder if you are praying for me in one breath and turning around making decisions for your life that could put you right in the situation that you're praying for me.
I wonder if somewhere in the back of your mind there is a disconnect from my life to yours. You like me, you admire me, some of you even think I'm awesome how I continue to persevere but yet you have not internalized my message in a way that you have changed your own behavior.
I just wonder, how many of you are living this lie. I call it a lie, because to support me and my work and to pray for me constantly and yet you have not applied my message to your own life, you are living a lie. How do you truly support something that you don't use? i.e.... You support my work, but not use my message for your own life.
When I was working in politics a long time ago, I learned to never ask someone to write a check for a political candidate that I was not willing to write myself. It speaks volumes for that which you believe in. That's why I try to the best of my human ability to live the life that I preach. Conviction validates Conviction; And Iron sharpens Iron. You make my life and message stronger by applying it to your own life.
I remember once I met a young girl in the clinic. She was 18 and 8 months pregnant with HIV. She had only known for two weeks that she was infected. In the course of our conversation, she said, "I know who you are. I heard you speak Ms. Thornton when I was a freshman in high school." Then she added, "You were so good! You were the bomb!" I stood frozen, speechless as she added, "I admire you so much. "At that moment if felt like she had stabbed me in the heart. I don't care if you like me or think that I am a good speaker. What I care most is to NEVER meet you in the AIDS clinic.
Well, if so, then you are living in arrogance. Arrangonce that says, there is something about my love, lover and life that exempts me from HIV and even Herpes, when in fact the only thing that truly exempts you is protecting yourself. Remember my message, you don't know half of what you think you know about your partner, and I pray that what you think you know is true.
Think about it. Is your inability to follow my message a fear of being alone or rejected? Well, remember the message, you are more important then any man or woman can ever me. Self Love comes first and when you start to love yourself, than someone worthy will then love you. The fact is, if your partner don't respect your choice to use a condom, then he/she is not respecting the choices you make about your body and your life. And I think if they don't respect you, then they are not worthy of you. Why give this precious part of you to someone who doesn't respect the fullness of who you are?
I'm saying today that I love and appreciate ALL of your support. Every Tweet, Every Email, Every Facebook, Every Bracelet sale and Every Donation you make to my blog. When I'm at my lowest it lifts me in ways I cannot even begin to explain. Your Tweets sometimes remind me that God has gifted me, and I have an obligation to keep going. In recent months a bracelet sale and your donation to the blog goes straight to a bill and keeps me afloat. I thank you all for it all!!
But what I want most from you is to live my message... Live this message that you support and under grid everyday in so many ways. More than anything, I'm asking you to live it! Conviction is everything.. Believing it is one thing... Living it is Everything...