Guest Blogger Luke Burke! My Best Friend! Part Two

It had been about a year since Rae spoke at my University. I was now a college grad, living and working in New York City. Rae had such an impact on my life that I vowed to keep in touch with her. Rae however did not know I made this vow with myself.

I gave Rae a call on a random hot summer night in my studio apartment. I had no air condition and no furniture. I was young and trying to make it. The call probably lasted about five minutes. Rae answered the phone and I explained to her who I was. She acted like she remembered me but in her voice I felt she had no clue who I was. I told her I lived in NYC now and that next time she was in the city to let me know so we could grab dinner. She was very polite and agreed and we hung up the phone. I was so happy just to hear her voice. I was on total groupie status at that time 

A year later, true to my personal pact with myself – I gave Rae another call. I just wanted to see how she was doing and hear her voice. I expected this call to be just as awkward as the last call but I didn’t care. I wanted to check on her. Rae answered the phone with a sense of urgency, I felt so stupid for bothering her. I began to tell her who I was and to my surprise this time I felt she really remembered who I was. I didn’t know if this was good or bad so I just went with it. At the end of the day I just wanted to get to know Rae and yes I wanted to be her friend. I attempted to engage Rae and start conversation and it worked! Before I knew it we were on the phone for over an hour. The rest I guess you can say is history. Rae and I now talk on the phone everyday…often multiple times a day.

Rae’s transparency is something I had never seen before in another human being. I am from the south and in the south people say what they think you want to hear. Rae is from Chicago and speaks the truth ALWAYS! She is not afraid to tell you exactly what she thinks. With Rae you can expect her to be honest at ALL times. She often says “You can’t sugar coat shit” and that she doesn’t do “half truths”. For me, growing up in a place where people were so judgmental on everything from race to sexuality Rae was a breath of fresh air. I saw in Rae a fearless individual that was both confident and strong. I admired these personality traits that Rae possess and still do.

Throughout our friendship Rae has taught me many things. I think of her as both a friend and mentor. I’ve learned so many life lessons from her. Her knowledge and wisdom on everything from politics to worldly subjects proves her extensive education and life experiences. We can talk for hours and not even realize it. We are the type of friends who can call each other in the middle of the night just to get thoughts our of our head. I’ve never had such unconditional love in friendship. Rae is beyond a friend to me - I consider her family. (To be continued)

Since Rae and I became friends we have shared many great experiences together. Despite our age difference (We are 18 years apart) we hang out like we were separated at birth. We both have an affinity for the finer things in life (although I think Rae is way worse than I am in this area!). We have come to the conclusion that sometimes we are each others Kryptonite. Neither one of us really know how to say “no” when it comes to treating ourselves (or each other).

One time when I was in Chicago on a business trip I invited Rae to my hotel to have dinner. I was staying at the TRUMP and she HAD to see how beautiful this place was – it was right up her alley! She met me at the hotel and we made our way to the restaurant on the top floor. We gasped at the view of Chicago from the floor to ceiling windows surrounding the room.

We were seated promptly and felt right at home. Great service, great views, and hanging out as besties. Rae and I decided to splurge and opted for the Chefs 10-course tasting menu. Each course was the size of a small saucer but we were blown away by the exceptional taste of each dish and how full we became after about the fifth tasting. We laughed and shared stories in between eating. Rae doesn’t drink (I do) so out of respect for her I never order a drink when I am with her. It’s amazing to me how I feel as if I’m high on life when we spend time together. Who needs a drink when I got Rae!? You can imagine my high deflated by the time the bill came. We are no good together when it comes to budgets but we have no regrets – it was worth it and a memory we both cherish.

There have been times when Rae and I do the exact opposite of lavish dinners at five star restaurants and we still have a great time. Last Thanksgiving Rae and I spent almost the whole weekend in her apartment on Chicago’s Gold Coast eating home cooked meals made by yours truly (Rae, not me). She cooks like she expects to eat…with perfection. Rae is an AMAZING cook! We spent lazy days in our pajamas on the couch arguing over what to watch on TV (we have VERY different taste) and drinking tea. We eventually compromised and I have come to love Law and Order and she grew to love Real Housewives. For Rae and I, spending time together is always fun. It doesn’t matter where we are.

As much as Rae and I like nice things she has shown me that she is humble enough to not be attached to them. When speaking engagements became sparse and few Rae downsized and moved out of her beautiful three bedroom condo to a small studio on the Gold Coast. She sold jewelry, furs, purses, and designer suits just to make ends meet.

Yet, even during this low time of a financial crisis as we walked past a young man begging for a meal on the street, Rae stopped to help. Living in New York I am accustomed to seeing people beg and I was naturally inclined to ignore him and continue about our business. Rae however took the young man in the nearest restaurant and bought him a meal. I was upset with Rae for doing this. “How do you know he is really broke Rae? You don’t even have a lot of money yourself?” I asked. Rae looked me straight in the eye and told me “I know what it’s like to be hungry. Just because that young man looked like he wasn’t homeless doesn’t mean he isn’t struggling. If he is asking for help who are we to question him?” she said.

I had a revelation at that moment. It dawned on me Rae was speaking truth. Here we were driving around in Rae’s Jaguar, yet she was selling personal items to survive. On the outside Rae looks like the picture of health. She is beautiful. Sharp from head to toe and no matter how she feels each day she still pushes herself to get out of bed and face the day like the DIVA she is.

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 Her compassion for others is admirable on many levels. Even when her speaking engagements were few and far between she still strives to educate. Her ministry never stops and she practices what she preaches. Rae doesn’t get paid to tweet on twitter, post on facebook, or recount her daily struggles on her blog.

She exposes personal and painful aspects of her life in hopes that her transparency will allow others to make better decisions. It hurts her to hear of new diagnosis of HIV because in 2011 people know to use a condom. At the time of her infection AIDS was not supposed to happen to a straight woman -- but it did.

Earlier this year, I attended a meeting at work that was catered by a well known soul food restaurant. I made a plate of Salmon topped with lump crab meat, macaroni and cheese, and collard greens. I even put a slice of pecan pie in my takeout box for dessert. I couldn’t wait to get home and eat the food while catching up on some of my favorite shows on TIVO.

As I got off the train I heard a mans voice ask for help. He was hungry and needed food. I tried to ignore him because I really wanted to eat this meal. I took a few more steps and heard him cry out for food once again. I stopped in my tracks and thought of Rae. I thought about how at a time when she had no money she was willing to spend the little she had to help someone in need and I knew what I had to do. I turned around and gave the man my food.

Thank You Rae for making me a better person.

Part One Click Here!