I've had so many picc lines and that has caused so much damage to the veins on my left side that getting a more permeant method to receive IV medication just makes clinically sense; but honestly, it's very scary getting this permanent line.
And while I'm trying to be a trooper, I am very sad that this must be done. I wish there was another way, but it is what it is... Some things can't be undone. I tell young people every day, make sure that you know what you are doing because this shit is real!
I wish I could really explain how hard living with AIDS is. I smile through it. I keep moving through it, but I wish I could really explain how my heart hurts.
AIDS has caused so much ugly in my life, it's a wonder that I haven't lost my mind. I'm thankful for all the people in my life that are trying to keep me together during this difficult period. I'm even grateful for all the encouragement that I get through Social Media... Thank you...
Having no family is a real aloneness for me. Over the years I've had so many people make promises and commitments to support me who just left. I can only conclude that whoever suppose to be in my life is.... So thank you for every word of encouragement, every tweet and every prayer and to everyone who stay... We try to justify lack of supporting people.. But in reality, we should support people because of who we say we are and who God has called us to be, not because of them. And if there's no threat to your person, everything else is just an excuse.
This is a dark period for me and I'm trying to hold onto some light in the midst of this darkness. I am thankful to be alive no matter how hard this living is, but don't be confused, I'm fighting for my spirit right now.
While it should be a pretty routine procedure, I do need to have the port place through interventional medicine because of the scaring I have in my veins.
If all goes well, I will probably begin IV medication to treat the drug resistant herpes on tomorrow. Please keep me in your prayers today.
Post Script: For more background on the drug resistant herpes and why I have to keep going back on IV medication and it's relationship to AIDS just search herpes in my blog; there are many blogs on it. You can start HERE with the Blog Overcoming Shame.