The Murder of Jessica Hampton

Last week today I was waiting on the red line train and very much annoyed that it was delayed. Little did I know that a young woman, Jessica Hampton had been brutally murdered just seven stops behind me.

Jessica who was 25 years old was stabbed by Aurther Jones. As she cried for help and tried to fight back, he contuined to stab her. Once she was on the floor of the train, he slit or throat and turso as by standers looked on. The video of her murder and body went viral and the family asked Facebook to take it down. In the police press conference they believed it to be a crime of Domstic Volience.

Well on Monday one of my biggest supporters reached out to me on Twitter to ask, "Did I think HIV was a reason to murder someone." I was like WHAT THE FUCK? She went on to explain that members of his family was claiming he stapled learning the Jessica had infects him with HIV. She also expalined that I would not find this in standard news, but the topic has indeed gone viral on Facebook

I did my research and learns that people were reporting Authur's Cousion Facebook post as on one end justification and on the other AIDS Education. I was like WHAT THE FUCK? I know I had to do something, but as the week dwedeled on and my throat infection hand with stitches from a freak acceidnt I thought that I would let it pass. As I searched for articles there was still no mention of HIV. So I had decided to just tweet about it and call it a day. 

BUT THEN THIS HAPPEN! I was sitting on the train yesterday, in front of me were 3 young men and beside me were there 2 friends. I'm going to guess the age range was between 17-22. They were laughing and cracking jokes about me crocheting in a cute sort of way and I joined in. Then one of the guys asked his friends, "man what would you have done if you were on the train when dude was stabbing that girl?" I jumped in, "Jumpped on his fucking back" and the conversation began. I explain that at one point he dropped the knife. One brother said, "oh man that was a way in, I would have tackled dude then." Another guy said, "Man I heard he was mad because she gave him HIV." IT WAS ON! Rae the AIDSActivist kicked in, they were listening but wasn't convinced. Then I said, I know what I'm talking about I have HIV for 33 years. They FROZE, I turned and looked each Brotha in the face, can't tell huh? SILIENCE.. Then I said, and this is a bad day with no make up and my hair half combed. My stop approached and I got up, leaving them speechless I said the problem is we are not educated about HIV. BAM! I got off the train leaving them FUCKED UP! 

So let's talk about all of this stigma and mis-education around HIV. Let's talk about Domstic Volience, murder and something gotta change in out Communtiy. I'm having a live FACEBOOK Chat tonight, June 30, 2016 at 7:00 pm CST. You will be able to ask me questions... Here is my Facebook fanpage link. You have to like the page and the dicussion will be there and NOT on my Facebook personal page.

If you want BACKGROUND on HIV infection read my recent blog post, "I Met A Man, Can I Give HIm HIV"

This is what we know for sure...

1) Aurther Jones murdered Jessica Hampton on the Red Line Train as people watched

2) The police are saying it was a case of Domstic Voliece with no mention of HIV

3) Aurther Jines lawyer indicated yesterday that he was Schoniza

4) Auther Jones Cousion posted a Facebook Post staying that Jessica gave Him HIV and he stapped. To explain why he murdered her.

5) people reposted her post and it went viral... With NJ berv

Tap Into The Resources and Live Well Beyond HIV!

I'll take aging with HIV over not aging at all any day. Now that's some real talk; but I have to be honest, muddling through HIV requires a lot of energy, work and support. Over the years, I've been fortunate enough to have a team of wonderful people to help me manage living with HIV, from understanding my medication to my emotional well being.

I want what I have for everyone living with HIV, that is to create a support system for themselves in all areas of their lives. What I know for sure, is that living with HIV in isolation will create depression, which creates its own set of issues.

You all may recall in my blog post, "Grey Hair and I Don't Care," I talked about the need to access resources as one ages with HIV and the wonderful resource page Well Beyond HIV. Well, I'm continuing to partner with the team over at Walgreens. They invited me over to learn about the services they provide for those living with HIV. I was really impressed with their Specialty Pharmacy and that don't come easy with me. I had a wonderful conversation with Nancy Salman who is the pharmacy manager at the Walgreens Specialty Center on Randolph and State in Chicago; which is one of over 800 Walgreens specialty pharmacies around the country.  Nancy is an "HIV Specialist," and let me tell you, her knowledge matches her spirit, on point. What the heck is an "HIV Specialty Pharmacist?" Glad you asked, it’s a pharmacist who has had additional training in understanding HIV clinically as well as medications, side-effects, adherence, I mean the whole shebang.


For sure at the top of the list of managing HIV is compliance with one’s antiretroviral medication, HAART. Nancy agrees, she said, "The single most important advice for those aging with HIV is compliance and adherence."

Compliance I believe is so connected to understanding your treatment plan. That means not only taking your medication as prescribed but accessing the additional support you may need to make compliance easier. Compliance in most cases leads to viral suppression and that means a longer life span, but muddling through takes not only energy but understanding.

For example, there are non HIV medications both prescription and over the counter that interfere with the deliverance of HIV medication in your blood stream and vice-versa. Let's take my drama around being premenopausal. Yep, another issue of aging that will happen for every woman. But as an HIV infected woman it's been non-stop drama. My hot flashes have been so bad I've wanted to strip my clothes and run down the street in the dead of Chicago's winter.

As I try to get a handle on the issues around menopause, I've learned that women with HIV have more difficult menopauses. Even severe hot flashes to the point that it interferes with their daily life style and even compliance to HIV medication. Then I learned that one of the HIV medications that I take actually reduces the levels of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). SHUT UP!

While talking to Nancy I was trying to recall the name of that antiretroviral medication, which interferes with Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and before I could get it out of my mouth, Nancy said, "Prezista" WOW, I really was impressed. I've spoken with OBGYN's that didn't even know that there was an issue with HIV medications and HRT or the fact that women aging with HIV entering pre-menopause needs to be assessed differently. I currently take 3 times the amount of HRT medication to balance the effect that my HIV medication has on my treatment. A more detailed blog coming soon on menopause and HIV.

For sure accessing resources is important and Walgreens pharmacy is a one stop shop. They are culturally sensitive. They have private rooms where HIV infected patients can ask the specialty pharmacist questions not only about medications, but side-effects, compliance and the list goes on.

Nancy says she helps her patients with issues such as compliance to customizing their treatment with other non-related HIV medical issues. This is important because people aging with HIV have about a 20% higher rate on co-mobility issues, such as heart, high cholesterol, diabetes and non HIV related cancers. She says that helping to customize care is important. Especially those HIV medications that cause other issues like Renal Disease.

She also helps her patients access coupons for their medication so they will not have a lapse in treatment. WIN!

For sure this one on one relationship creates a safe and confidential environment for people with HIV. These types of services are extremely important, especially when you only see your infectious disease doctor once every 3-6 months. Having someone in my case, just up the street to answer my questions is important. I know my own experience before I take any over the counter medications, I ask the pharmacist at Walgreens. Now at the Specialty Centers, the pharmacist sits out front. How cool is that to not have to ask for the pharmacist to come up front?

Nancy explained that they stay well connected with their HIV patients, especially those newly diagnosed. That's important because 35% of newly diagnosed patients stop treatment within 90 days. *I know right, I thought the same thing when I heard that stat at an HIV talk about aging with HIV.* Nancy says that they text, call and email depending on the best way to reach each patient.

I have to tell you as I hit senior citizen age, I'm learning that those aging with HIV have their own set of issues. I will be tackling this topic more and more, not only for those of us who have aged with HIV but also that younger people living with HIV will understand what's down the road and what they need to do in those early days to preserve those later days. For sure, the right resources are an important step to living well with HIV. I continue to be amazed at the growth with advancements around HIV in the 35 years since the first cases where reported by the Center for Disease Control.

My biggest advice to those greying with HIV, whether you've been infected for years like me, or a senior newly diagnosed. You cannot do this alone, tap into the resources so that you can live well beyond HIV.

I was sponsored by Walgreens to write this blog post. All opinions expressed are my own.

I Met A Man... Can I Give Him HIV?

I met a man and OMG he was just simply charming. Now I usually don't give my number to random men on the street, but did I say he was sooooo charming?!

Even Chloe liked him, but ummm now that I think about it, Chloe likes everyone she sees. But the fact that he took the time while macking to bend down and speak to my baby girl was a brownie point. But umm that could have been a part of the Mack game to. LOL But unmm I still gave him my number. Did I say how charming he was?

We made it through the first round of "gettin to know" each other. And I'm not sure if we are even going on a date. I try not to make assumptions because that's when feelings get hurt. Now don't get me wrong, I have standards like mutual respect etc. etc. etc. What I'm talking about is not marrying him in your head before you know if he puts the toilet sit down, look at you like you're the only woman in the room and most importantly not some misogyntic butt hole. Like for real for real. But now that I think about it, charming men tend to love women, all of them. What have I gotten myself into? But then again, I try not to make assumptions even about charming men.

 So here I am, I've given my number to a very charming man and we have gotten beyond at least the introduction. Now I have to be honest, this created some anxiety  that I haven't felt in years; Mainly, I got to tell this man that I have HIV but on top of HIV that I'm this super famous woman who goes around the country talking about having HIV. This is not an easy thing. 

It's been years since a man approached me that didn't already know who I was and this sent me back to a place that I haven't been in years. Since my divorce well over 17 years ago, I've learned that being famous with HIV is collateral damage. Even when a man likes you, they are faced with the stigma that comes with dating a person with HIV. And don't be in denial, it does come. Why would he date her? Does he have HIV also? Will she give him HIV? And the list goes on and on. 

Prior to the cover of Essence, there was no need to tell a man that I had HIV until we had been on a few dates and I've made sure he wasn't crazy crazy. It was always about, do I think this man is worth my energy, worth me and once I reached that point, I would have the "kitchen conversation" sitting at the table with my clothes on explaining that I am HIV positive; answering all of his questions and explaining the ramifications of what dating a positive woman means for him. But back then it was a mutual secret. Remember, those first 7 years I told like 5 people that I was positive, other than the men I dated.

So the "kitchen conversation" is important. I've always believed that a person should be informed so that they can make what they feel is the best decision for their life. Everyone has that right, even the right to not date a person who is living with HIV. That goes for whatever the reason, stigma, risk and even I don't want to be bothered with dating a person with a chronic Illness. 

But today the "kitchen conversation happens a lot earlier for me.  I almost have to have the, "I am a public figure" conversation. Now what if I don't tell him right away, and we bump into someone who recognizes me? People come up to me often in public, and what if THAT PERSON who says. "Ain't you that lady with AIDS" bumps into us having dinner. And once I tell him my last name and he googles me or send me friend request me on Facebook, it's a wrap. Like, being this public person flows into every area of my life. So much pressure being "THAT GIRL." Now for sure, I wouldn't change a thing. God has given me a gift and I would rather use my gift  and be single for the rest of my life if that be the case.

Now again, I have no idea if this is going anywhere. Shoot, I'm writing this blog and may never talk to him again. But this situation got me to thinking about  being infected and dating with HIV in 2016. 

 Its crazy that the risk of infecting a person is so very very low today, unlike it was let's say even 17 years ago. But the stigma is at a freaking stand still. Its like people can't move beyond 1994 when I was on the cover of Essence. So I thought that I would take this opportunity to update you on the risk factors of dating a positive person and the new medical advancements. If I never talk to this man again, well at least he got me to write a blog for you, and y'all know I've not been that inspired to write very much as of late. So it's all good. 

OK! Let me lay it out for you. I'll give it to you in lay terms as much as I can. I have also provided links.  It's a tad long, but its good information, and I'm going to ask all of you to share this blog on your Social Media sites.

1) A person who is living with HIV man or female who's viral load is undetectable is very unlikely to transmit HIV to another person. Let me say it this way, even if you do not use a condom or the condom breaks, if the person living with HIV viral load is undetectable the risk of infecting another person is significantly low. Scholars have been playing it safe, and saying 96% safe.  My former doctor, whom I trust with my life,  said to me and I quote, "it's zero infection Rae" 

The latest study was 30,000 sexual acts with a positive and negative person and Zero inflections. WHAT THE HECK DOES ALL OF THIS MEAN???? Glad you asked. It means that a person in treatment with an undetectable viral load both in their blood, semen ad vaginal secretions, CANNOT transmit HIV. Now let me expand viral load.

A) Viral Load is the amount of HIV that has copied in your body. The more it copies, the sicker a person is likely to be, and the greater risk there is of infecting their partner. 

Thirty-Five years into the AIDS pandemic, treatment is remarkable. There are 32 different HIV medications, which we call antiretrovirals and five different classes of antiretrovirals. Taking a combination of antiretrovirals is often referred to as HAART. When a person takes HAART medications it actually reduces the HIV virus from the body and blocks copies of newer resistant strains when the virus copies. This viral suppression means that a person will less likely develop AIDS Related Complex or even transition to AIDS. 

If  a person has already transitioned to AIDS, like in my case, HAART therapy will suppress the virus from doing any new damage to my body. But the damage that has already been done to my immune system cannot be reversed. ( that's why I have more health problems then the average person today with HIV) 

The success of HAART is why its important for people to be tested at lest once a year. Being diagnosed early, getting into treatment, complying with treatment and staying in treatment will prolog your life and the quality of your life.  Furthermore, this alone will reduce the new cases of HIV. About 38% of newly diagnosed persons with HIV are infected by a person who did not know that they were infected.

B) There are some factors in transmission of HIV with an undetectable viral load, such as, other sexually transmitted diseases, menstruation, and the level of virus in a woman's vaginal sectarians and male semen. Usually, HAART medication reduces ones viral load in both blood, semen and vaginal sectarians, but there are some instances where this has not been the case. Read here

C) An Undetectable Viral Load does NOT mean that you no longer have HIV. Yes, HIV is still in your body, but in very small amounts. The smaller the amount the more difficult it is to transmit HIV. Undetectable is optimum.

D) What if a persons Viral Load goes up? Well it then means that the risk factor of infecting someone goes up, and this also increases their chances of disease progression. So for example, back in 1997 my viral load for 400,000 thats a lot of virus, My T-Cell Count was 8 and I was very sick. During this time the risk of me infecting someone was far greater then today. 

E) Why does a person Viral Load increase? Drug resistance. HIV in your body has developed a resistance to the medications, whether it's one in your combination, or all? 

F) Why does a person develop resistant to HAART therapy? Typically failure to comply with ones treatment is the reason resistance sets in, but not exclusively.

• When a person does not take their medication as prescribed; missing dosage, stopping and starting at random all of these can cause a resistance. BUT if a person does what they are supposed to do then the chances of resistance is low. Of course their can be just plain old drug failure, but if a person is in care their doctor is on top of it.  

• For example, my viral load gets tested every 3 months. And BTW my Viral Load has been undetectable for 13 years and staying steady, thanks be to God, but ummm I do what the fuck I'm supposed to do too. POW!! If you don't do good, you can't expect good results!

G) Ok I know, I know what you are saying, nothing is full proof. I agree, that's why condom use is still important.  Plus I'm not trying to get Zike from anyone. BOOM! But we have come a long way from those early days when risk factor was so much higher. I'm going to also remind you that female to male transmission has always been very low. Its like 20-1 that a woman will infect a man.

2) PrEP is also a medical breakthrough in HIV Treatment and Care!

What the heck is PrEP! I'm glad you asked. Its a pre-exposure prophylaxis; a once a day antiretroviral that a person who is not infected takes to prevent HIV infection. Yep, one pill, once a day. I've covered this topic in my Charlie Sheen blog here. But the bottom line, PrEP does prevent HIV. I think a person must determine for themselves, based on their lifestyle if they should consider taking PrEP Now that I'm back in the groove. I will write another blog about PReP in the next week or so to give you my detail thoughts, in the meantime you can learn about it here.

For sure we have come a long way in thirty-five years. What I want for you, is to advance your mind with the medical advancements. This staying stuck and not embracing these new and exciting advancements around HIV is like ummmm still trying to use My Space. This staying stuck also perpetuates stigma. If you continue to relegate AIDS to be this horrible death sentence that it once was, you continue to deny those living and thriving  with HIV the beautiful miracle of life. Keeping HIV in a time warped continues to push the paradigm of hopelessness. Does that impact our dating, you damn right cause who wants to date someone who society believes is a walking death sentence!? Come on y'all, help a sista out, change your mind and your ass will follow....